Memo to All Parents, Teachers, and Caretakers

Memo to All Parents, Teachers, and Caretakers:

As you know, this vessel has suffered a number of hull breach incidents over the past few months. I attended a meeting of the command staff today, and it became clear to me that they have no real plan for dealing with it. They just expect breaches to keep happening.

I suppose it's water under the walkway at this point. This is yet another problem that could have been avoided had we taken more care when selecting our vessel. Regardless, it is what it is, and we are where we are.

During last week's incident, it was clear that many on the ship are still unfamiliar with hull breach protocol. This is especially an issue with the younger children, who are large enough to require their own suits but unable to grasp the procedures. We had four cases of hypoxia last time. One child may have permanent brain damage. We're still waiting on the results.

As provisional headmaster, it falls to me to address this issue. It is critical that we instill hull breach discipline in these children now. Our collective survival requires that we maintain a certain population, and that we continue to teach the critical shipboard procedures to each subsequent generation until we make landfall.

I hate to be &quot;that guy&quot;, but I must remind you all that while we were all volunteers for this journey, the children born en route did not volunteer. It is our duty to ensure that future generations make it to the end of the journey alive, undamaged, and with enough knowledge to flourish.

To that end: the curriculum staff and I have devised a means of teaching the children proper hull breach procedures via the use of a song. I request that all parents, teachers, and caretakers begin teaching the following song to them. Sing it to them on a regular basis. I realize this may seem silly, but if it prevents a child dying in the next hull breach, I consider it time well spent.

It's to the tune of &quot;Twinkle Twinkle Little Star&quot;, by the way. Look it up in the archives if you don't know it.

-

Something poked into the wall

Wind goes rushing through the hall

Don't be lazy, don't be slow

Off to find my suit I go

First my legs and then my arms

Twist the knob to keep me warm

Elbows, kneecaps, neck, and head

Close each seal or I'll be dead

Twist my helmet till it's tight

Press the green and yellow lights

Don't breathe deep and don't breathe fast

And the air inside will last

Scary noises, loud alarms

In my suit I'm safe from harm

As we sail across the sea

My suit will take care of me

-

I appreciate your cooperation.

Csaba Green

Provisional Headmaster