Local Woman Wins Fifteenth Annual Culinary Competition

Posted by Rodina Screencast Company

For Immediate Release

Local Woman Wins Fifteenth Annual Culinary Competition

The Rodina Assembly Hall hosted the fifteenth annual Culinary Competition this past Sunday. Elite chefs from across the ship gathered to test their mettle against each other in what has become a celebrated ship-wide event. For the fifteenth consecutive year, algae was the secret ingredient.

Our culinary masters sprang into action, using all manner of spices, apparatuses, and chemical alterations to turn the daily ration of algae that we all know and hate into something remotely palatable.

This year's entries ranged from mundane to sublime. Common themes included algae fricassees, algae milkshakes, pressed algae steaks, and algae salads (with algae vinaigrettes). Sadly, most failed to elevate the essential ingredient above its regular status as a life-giving and wholly disgusting slime product.

The winner of &quot;Best Traditional Dish&quot; was that old favorite, Spiced Algae Gumbo with Chunk Algae. Chef Milos Patterson put his own spin on the dish by fermenting the algae with several bacteria cultures of his own design, leading to a rich and velvety texture.

The winner of the coveted &quot;Most Resourceful&quot; prize was controversial chef Pontius &quot;Pon&quot; Van Der Wolfe. His Algae Surprise was constructed using various human-derived byproducts, including donated collagen, purified blood drawn from the chef himself, and a special ingredient which the chef refused to name, except with a wink and a smile. As in previous years, Pon's presentation table was the center of much loud protesting by the Anti-Cannibalism League, who construe his dishes as walking too fine a line between acceptable nutrition and outright anthropophagy.

The winner of &quot;Best Overall Dish&quot; was newcomer Lyuba Paul, who produced Algae Pâté on Crusted Algae Flatbread. The flatbread was unambitious yet well-executed. However, the pâté itself was heavenly, carrying hints of cherry and charcoal, with a rich umami undertone that elevated it from inspired to divine. Lyuba achieved this result entirely through non-biologicals, creating a marination cocktail from an array of complex compounds with no fewer than four mildly radioactive isotopes. Lyuba looks forward to opening a small Algae and Water shop in the Fore deck using her winnings from the contest.

As far as this reporter is concerned, the event was a huge success, and set a high bar for next year. Although Rodina's food scientists continue to experiment with creating alternate food sources, we expect that next year's secret ingredient will, once again, be algae.